So sometimes when my girlfriend is having stomach problems, she likes to wear a diaper for protection. She's had problems before with messing her panties when she is having digestive issues, particularly when she is asleep, so it's a reasonable precaution. Well, the other day she woke up feeling not very well and made a bee-line for the bathroom. She made it, but after a little while she called through the door asking if I could bring her a diaper just in case.
She started feeling much better very quickly, but she still wore diapers all day to be safe. She didn't end up using them, but it was an incredible turn on to watch her walking around in just a diaper and tank top. She caught on, of course, and started bending over and showing off her diapered bottom. At one point she got a phonecall from this guy in the porn industry she is editing a reel for. By then, she was completely naked except for her diaper, talking on the phone about the business end of the adult industry to a guy who would never have suspected what she was doing. It was pretty funny to watch, not to mention totally hot.
We had some incredible sex, and she ended up wearing a diaper to bed, just in case she had an accident in the night.
The next morning, I woke up to a very snuggley diapered girl. We made out for a while and talked a little about ways we might incorporate diapers into our sex life together in the future. She suggested that she might wear a little short skirt that she could flip up every now and then to give me a peek of what she was wearing underneath.
We'll see what happens.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Meeting up in real life
So I mentioned way back in February that I was in the process of organizing an opportunity for some college-aged ABDLS in the New York City area to meet each other discreetly over coffee in real life. Well, it finally happened.
It took some doing. I put some notices out on the New York section of the "Meeting Place" board on Daily Diapers and in the AB/DL's in New York/New Jersey group on DiaperSpace. Slowly, the responses came in. Once I had six volunteers, we started discussing dates. It took a while to reach a consensus, but it seemed like the first Sunday in June would be good for everyone. It took until two days before that date to decide this though, and last minute conflicts were basically guaranteed to crop up. We had enough people though that even if half of them didn't show up it would still be enough for a reasonably-sized meet-up. Anyway, my girlfriend was out of town and I was bored. I emailed everyone my cell phone number and told them to call me when they got to Penn Station. That was our meeting spot, since we had people on the list who were commuting all the way from Connecticut and Jersey.
Well, Sunday, June 7th arrived and I rode the train up to Penn Station. When 3 PM (our scheduled meeting time) arrived, I got a call.
"Hey, this is Nicole, from ... the group."
Awesome. Someone had shown up.
"Hey," I replied, "great, you made it. I'm at 34th street. Where are you?"
"I'm by the K-Mart," she replied.
"Great. I'll meet you there."
I walked down 34th street until I saw the K-Mart sign and called Nicole back.
"Hey," I said. "I'm at the K-Mart. I'm waving."
Coming through the crowd, I spotted a redhead waving back. This was it! My first meeting with another diaper lover. We shook hands and introduced ourselves properly.
"So," she asked, "how long have you been into ... diapers?"
"Um," I said. "Basically since I was little. Since I can remember."
It was such an unusual sensation to just be having a discussion like this in the middle of a crowded street. It's like F. Scott Fitzgerald says though; large parties are the most private, and New York is the biggest party of all.
As it turned out, this wasn't Nicole's first meeting. She had met five or six other people in the area who were into diapers. She explained that she had grown tired of reading the same kinds of posts over and over again on internet message boards and that she hardly even visited them any more except to get in contact with people in the New York area. She had had one bad experience meeting with a guy who turned out to be a total creep who enjoyed sending weird text-messages, but she had had her share of good encounters too.
After about half an hour of standing around in front of K-Mart, we realized that we were probably the only ones coming. We started walking and ended up on the Lower East Side, where we decided to grab a bite to eat.
Over lunchtime conversation, I found out that she had known two other DLs at the small college she attended upstate. One of them she met through a message board and had some play with. He told her there was at least one other DL at their school that he knew of, but he wouldn't divulage the name. Later she found out that the mystery DL was someone she had spent an entire summer working side by side with. Coincidence? I guess so, but my guess is that there are more of us out there than anybody realizes. I told her about DLightning's blog and how he had this symbol that looked like an inconspicuous designer logo that he was making plans to promote. She agreed that it was a good plan. If she or her co-worker had had something like that to identify themselves as a diaper lover, it certainly would have made lunch hour conversation more interesting.
In addition to diaper stuff, we talked about movies, literature, living situations in New York, and all kinds of other things. It was a good experience to be able to just talk about being into diapers as a normal, everyday issue ... because for a lot of people it totally is. We just have to create opportunities like this where we can meet and find out just how normal it is.
In any case, we both agreed that we'd like to do this again to give everyone who didn't make it this time around an opportunity to attend a real life gather of diaper lovers. She suggested it might be fun to do a picnic in central park next time.
As I've said before, any of you teens/twenty-somethings in the area who are interested in participating should shoot me an email at diapermail@yahoo.com ... and if our group isn't near you in NYC, don't be afraid to put yourself out there and start getting together a meet-up in your own town. Remember: use common sense. One on one meetings with internet-strangers in private places are a bad plan, kids. A good meet-up should be held in a public place where everyone is going to be comfortable. Don't get discouraged if responses are slow, and keep gathering those emails until you have a good sized group that is close in age. And remember ... if you do hold a meet-up in your area, we want to hear how it went! Write a blog about it, or at least comment here so everyone in our group can hear about how other people are organizing. Who knows ... if we get enough groups together and keep in touch, DLs sometime down the line might be able to visit each other's groups if they find themselves traveling with some time to kill.
Anything's possible ...
It took some doing. I put some notices out on the New York section of the "Meeting Place" board on Daily Diapers and in the AB/DL's in New York/New Jersey group on DiaperSpace. Slowly, the responses came in. Once I had six volunteers, we started discussing dates. It took a while to reach a consensus, but it seemed like the first Sunday in June would be good for everyone. It took until two days before that date to decide this though, and last minute conflicts were basically guaranteed to crop up. We had enough people though that even if half of them didn't show up it would still be enough for a reasonably-sized meet-up. Anyway, my girlfriend was out of town and I was bored. I emailed everyone my cell phone number and told them to call me when they got to Penn Station. That was our meeting spot, since we had people on the list who were commuting all the way from Connecticut and Jersey.
Well, Sunday, June 7th arrived and I rode the train up to Penn Station. When 3 PM (our scheduled meeting time) arrived, I got a call.
"Hey, this is Nicole, from ... the group."
Awesome. Someone had shown up.
"Hey," I replied, "great, you made it. I'm at 34th street. Where are you?"
"I'm by the K-Mart," she replied.
"Great. I'll meet you there."
I walked down 34th street until I saw the K-Mart sign and called Nicole back.
"Hey," I said. "I'm at the K-Mart. I'm waving."
Coming through the crowd, I spotted a redhead waving back. This was it! My first meeting with another diaper lover. We shook hands and introduced ourselves properly.
"So," she asked, "how long have you been into ... diapers?"
"Um," I said. "Basically since I was little. Since I can remember."
It was such an unusual sensation to just be having a discussion like this in the middle of a crowded street. It's like F. Scott Fitzgerald says though; large parties are the most private, and New York is the biggest party of all.
As it turned out, this wasn't Nicole's first meeting. She had met five or six other people in the area who were into diapers. She explained that she had grown tired of reading the same kinds of posts over and over again on internet message boards and that she hardly even visited them any more except to get in contact with people in the New York area. She had had one bad experience meeting with a guy who turned out to be a total creep who enjoyed sending weird text-messages, but she had had her share of good encounters too.
After about half an hour of standing around in front of K-Mart, we realized that we were probably the only ones coming. We started walking and ended up on the Lower East Side, where we decided to grab a bite to eat.
Over lunchtime conversation, I found out that she had known two other DLs at the small college she attended upstate. One of them she met through a message board and had some play with. He told her there was at least one other DL at their school that he knew of, but he wouldn't divulage the name. Later she found out that the mystery DL was someone she had spent an entire summer working side by side with. Coincidence? I guess so, but my guess is that there are more of us out there than anybody realizes. I told her about DLightning's blog and how he had this symbol that looked like an inconspicuous designer logo that he was making plans to promote. She agreed that it was a good plan. If she or her co-worker had had something like that to identify themselves as a diaper lover, it certainly would have made lunch hour conversation more interesting.
In addition to diaper stuff, we talked about movies, literature, living situations in New York, and all kinds of other things. It was a good experience to be able to just talk about being into diapers as a normal, everyday issue ... because for a lot of people it totally is. We just have to create opportunities like this where we can meet and find out just how normal it is.
In any case, we both agreed that we'd like to do this again to give everyone who didn't make it this time around an opportunity to attend a real life gather of diaper lovers. She suggested it might be fun to do a picnic in central park next time.
As I've said before, any of you teens/twenty-somethings in the area who are interested in participating should shoot me an email at diapermail@yahoo.com ... and if our group isn't near you in NYC, don't be afraid to put yourself out there and start getting together a meet-up in your own town. Remember: use common sense. One on one meetings with internet-strangers in private places are a bad plan, kids. A good meet-up should be held in a public place where everyone is going to be comfortable. Don't get discouraged if responses are slow, and keep gathering those emails until you have a good sized group that is close in age. And remember ... if you do hold a meet-up in your area, we want to hear how it went! Write a blog about it, or at least comment here so everyone in our group can hear about how other people are organizing. Who knows ... if we get enough groups together and keep in touch, DLs sometime down the line might be able to visit each other's groups if they find themselves traveling with some time to kill.
Anything's possible ...
Saturday, April 18, 2009
The sad demise of DLTown
So DLTown shut down. It's pretty sad; their vision for the site was a good one. They didn't have giant phonesex ads about poopy diapers, their site was faster than Diaperspace and they didn't have any glaring bugs or a colorscheme that made the board difficult to see. More importantly, their header proclaimed that on this site there would be no "BS nonsense." A diaper site without empty profiles, compulsive liars, and trolls would be nice ... but until DLLightning gets his site up and running, this is still in the realm of fantasy. There are definately some lessons to be learned from DLTown's fate that should be heeded by anyone with a similar vision for a site without BS nonsense. Anyway, here is the letter that was up for a few days after they closed the site down:
Dear friends,
We have decided to close DLTown indefinitely. There are many factors which lead up to this decision. First and foremost, we are going to be expecting a new addition to our family very soon which is going to consume most of our time and we are no longer going to be able to dedicate the effort that is required to run this site. In addition, this site consumes WAY too much money for us to afford financially. With a new house (and a baby on the way) the money we spend on this site each month could be better spent elsewhere. Of course, we GREATLY appreciate all of the help and support that we've received. We've met some really awesome people over the past few months, but at the same time, we've met a lot of negative people as well. As sad as it seems, about ninety five percent of the people in this community are: slime balls, fakes, creeps, stalkers, and quite frankly, we're tired of dealing with them. The added stress is not needed, especially now. These douche bags, destroy the implied trust that a close knit community SHOULD have and we're tired of it. Too many people are backstabbing and judgmental. In the past week, we've already saw negative threads on other forums and communities criticizing and speculating. This venture was never meant to be a source of income. The majority of these individuals are underage, still live at home, and have no financial responsibility. They have no clue what it.s like to maintain a mortgage, make the car payment, pay the insurance, keep up on utilities, put food on the table, and everything else. Get out of your parent.s house, go get a life outside of the internet, work a job, pay all your bills on time, and THEN feel free to judge. Too many self centered individuals exist in this community who take a lot, but give nothing. We owe absolutely nothing to anyone and yet everybody acted like we did. Very few people were ever satisfied. People fought, bickered, and argued about every little thing. Our vision for this site has pretty much been destroyed. After a lot of thought, we have decided that the best option for us is to refrain from the online DL community completely and keep our fetish private and offline. We wish the best of luck to everybody on wherever life takes you. And to our true loyal friends, we.re glad to have been given the chance to meet all of you. We're glad there are some individuals, who truly rise above all the deception and sleaziness that is present in this community. People like you give a glimmer of hope that above all the negativity, there really are good people in this world.
Best regards,
Shannon :(
admin@dltown.com
PS: If anybody wants the dltown.com domain, I'll transfer it to the registrar of your choice for a little bit of nothing.
It's a dirty shame that this community seems to be working to systematically drive out the people who do the most for it. Let's all raise a glass to DLTown's memory and meditate a little on what the constructive members of the community can do in the future to build stronger connections while fighting off the slime balls, fakes, creeps, and stalkers.
Dear friends,
We have decided to close DLTown indefinitely. There are many factors which lead up to this decision. First and foremost, we are going to be expecting a new addition to our family very soon which is going to consume most of our time and we are no longer going to be able to dedicate the effort that is required to run this site. In addition, this site consumes WAY too much money for us to afford financially. With a new house (and a baby on the way) the money we spend on this site each month could be better spent elsewhere. Of course, we GREATLY appreciate all of the help and support that we've received. We've met some really awesome people over the past few months, but at the same time, we've met a lot of negative people as well. As sad as it seems, about ninety five percent of the people in this community are: slime balls, fakes, creeps, stalkers, and quite frankly, we're tired of dealing with them. The added stress is not needed, especially now. These douche bags, destroy the implied trust that a close knit community SHOULD have and we're tired of it. Too many people are backstabbing and judgmental. In the past week, we've already saw negative threads on other forums and communities criticizing and speculating. This venture was never meant to be a source of income. The majority of these individuals are underage, still live at home, and have no financial responsibility. They have no clue what it.s like to maintain a mortgage, make the car payment, pay the insurance, keep up on utilities, put food on the table, and everything else. Get out of your parent.s house, go get a life outside of the internet, work a job, pay all your bills on time, and THEN feel free to judge. Too many self centered individuals exist in this community who take a lot, but give nothing. We owe absolutely nothing to anyone and yet everybody acted like we did. Very few people were ever satisfied. People fought, bickered, and argued about every little thing. Our vision for this site has pretty much been destroyed. After a lot of thought, we have decided that the best option for us is to refrain from the online DL community completely and keep our fetish private and offline. We wish the best of luck to everybody on wherever life takes you. And to our true loyal friends, we.re glad to have been given the chance to meet all of you. We're glad there are some individuals, who truly rise above all the deception and sleaziness that is present in this community. People like you give a glimmer of hope that above all the negativity, there really are good people in this world.
Best regards,
Shannon :(
admin@dltown.com
PS: If anybody wants the dltown.com domain, I'll transfer it to the registrar of your choice for a little bit of nothing.
It's a dirty shame that this community seems to be working to systematically drive out the people who do the most for it. Let's all raise a glass to DLTown's memory and meditate a little on what the constructive members of the community can do in the future to build stronger connections while fighting off the slime balls, fakes, creeps, and stalkers.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Oops ...
So the other day I was wearing girl underwear. I can pass pretty easily; I get mistaken for a girl all the time, even when I'm not consciously in girl mode. I rarely dress in full-on drag, but if I'm wearing underwear it is usually panties. My wardrobe consists mostly of jeans and T-shirts anyway, so it's pretty unisex. If the gender question on my tax forms was a write-in instead of a check box, I'd put "David Bowie."
Most of my panties are pretty demure ... I'm not really into the over-the top sexy ones or anything with tons of frills. Generally, those make me feel a lot more silly than sexy. I'd rather just have something innocent and cute that actually makes me feel like a girl than a tiny piece of lace that does little to contain a rather obvious part of my anatomy.
Anyway, I woke up in girl mode the other day and decided on green and yellow stripes. They're pretty fucking cute. It was a busy day and I sort of forgot I was even wearing them. After the day's classes were done, I went up to one of the studios in the main building to help a classmate with a shoot he was doing. I was the assistant director, which basically meant I was running the show except with regards to telling the actors what kind of performance to give.
The scene we were doing was in a bar set the school has. I was climbing over the counter to get a wire out of the shot when a girl behind me giggled.
"Hey, cute underwear."
I turned around to see the whole crew looking in my direction. I blushed hard. My girlfriend, who is also in the film department, was on set at the time as well, giving me a look of sympathy.
"Are they boxers or briefs or ... do I see a flower?"
I didn't think I was wearing the flower ones today ... the tag must be sticking out.
"Um, well," I replied. "They're girl's underwear actually."
She just shook her head and laughed.
"Wow," she said laughing and shaking her head. "You're awesome. So you and your girlfiend ... do you match?"
"Um," I said. "Not today."
"Are they ... comfortable?"
"Yeah," I said, blushing harder. "They're pretty snug."
A couple of the guys on set looked interested.
"Really?" one said. "I had always kind of wondered."
Essentially it was one of the most embarrassing things that has ever happened to me, especially because I was trying to project an air of authority. I managed to play it pretty well, and keep a reasonable amount of dignity, despite the fact that my whole production class now knows that I wear panties.
Oh well. It totally could have been worse-- I could have been wearing a diaper.
Most of my panties are pretty demure ... I'm not really into the over-the top sexy ones or anything with tons of frills. Generally, those make me feel a lot more silly than sexy. I'd rather just have something innocent and cute that actually makes me feel like a girl than a tiny piece of lace that does little to contain a rather obvious part of my anatomy.
Anyway, I woke up in girl mode the other day and decided on green and yellow stripes. They're pretty fucking cute. It was a busy day and I sort of forgot I was even wearing them. After the day's classes were done, I went up to one of the studios in the main building to help a classmate with a shoot he was doing. I was the assistant director, which basically meant I was running the show except with regards to telling the actors what kind of performance to give.
The scene we were doing was in a bar set the school has. I was climbing over the counter to get a wire out of the shot when a girl behind me giggled.
"Hey, cute underwear."
I turned around to see the whole crew looking in my direction. I blushed hard. My girlfriend, who is also in the film department, was on set at the time as well, giving me a look of sympathy.
"Are they boxers or briefs or ... do I see a flower?"
I didn't think I was wearing the flower ones today ... the tag must be sticking out.
"Um, well," I replied. "They're girl's underwear actually."
She just shook her head and laughed.
"Wow," she said laughing and shaking her head. "You're awesome. So you and your girlfiend ... do you match?"
"Um," I said. "Not today."
"Are they ... comfortable?"
"Yeah," I said, blushing harder. "They're pretty snug."
A couple of the guys on set looked interested.
"Really?" one said. "I had always kind of wondered."
Essentially it was one of the most embarrassing things that has ever happened to me, especially because I was trying to project an air of authority. I managed to play it pretty well, and keep a reasonable amount of dignity, despite the fact that my whole production class now knows that I wear panties.
Oh well. It totally could have been worse-- I could have been wearing a diaper.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Finally, a day off.
Man ... the whole world is frozen out there. Winter really puts things on hold. I've been away from my usual internet haunts for a couple of weeks now, and apparently so has everyone else. Frigid weather, flu season, and a flatlining economy seem to have draped the whole world in a flat gray blanket of seasonal depression. I've been swamped with writing assignments, movie shoots, and the threat that "spring break" (which in NYC is going to be freezing, snowy, and generally not at all like spring) will interrupt all the work I am doing at school. Since today is my first day off in a while, I decided that it should be a diapered one. No ice-cold toilet seat today, thank you.
I've got a some chocolate chip cookies and an awesome comic book to read too: a thick hardcover collection of "Herbie
," which is basically like if Daniel Pinkwater was writing comic books in the 1960s. Today is a day for maximum cuddling and contentment.
No news to report yet about that diapered college kids meet-up. I have a bunch of email addresses and basically just have everyone standing by for a date. We may just have to call it and decided that anyone who hasn't gotten in touch yet isn't interested. I'll probably contact people about a time and place this afternoon.
However! Despite a the recent lull in diaper activity (In my life anyway. Maybe you people have exiting diapered adventures every day.) there is one awesome development I have to announce to anyone who hasn't already heard: Monday morning, Bambino lowered their prices considerably, which is even better when you consider that they just made their diapers twice as absorbent in February. This cinches it ... I am totally springing for a case of Biancos.
I've got a some chocolate chip cookies and an awesome comic book to read too: a thick hardcover collection of "Herbie
," which is basically like if Daniel Pinkwater was writing comic books in the 1960s. Today is a day for maximum cuddling and contentment.No news to report yet about that diapered college kids meet-up. I have a bunch of email addresses and basically just have everyone standing by for a date. We may just have to call it and decided that anyone who hasn't gotten in touch yet isn't interested. I'll probably contact people about a time and place this afternoon.
However! Despite a the recent lull in diaper activity (In my life anyway. Maybe you people have exiting diapered adventures every day.) there is one awesome development I have to announce to anyone who hasn't already heard: Monday morning, Bambino lowered their prices considerably, which is even better when you consider that they just made their diapers twice as absorbent in February. This cinches it ... I am totally springing for a case of Biancos.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
BDSM & ABDL
I recently made a long winded comment at iHeartDiapers.com dealing with the subject of seeking a more general kind of acceptance for ABDLs, of the sort that BDSM enjoys. It really was so long as to qualify as a blog post all by itself, so I polished it up at little to stand better on its own and posted it here. Maddie here on blogspot has been talking about a lot of these things for a while, so be sure to visit her blog for more thoughts along these lines. I've hit on a few of these things before too, so if you've heard some this before, just bear with me. There's some good thoughts in here.
Anyhow, someone pointed out that BDSMs comparative kinkiness should, in all logic, make it a harder sell to the general public than ABDL. This is what I had to add:
In the public consciousness, BDSM, which was considered totally unacceptable 60 years ago, has now become what we think of when we think of sex. However, the key difference that holds the ABDL world back from that kind of public recognition is that BDSMers have been building a very open, intelligent, and supportive community since the 1950s. And let’s face it … the majority of people searching the Internet for ABDL material are not interested in the community. They are (for lack of a nice way of putting this) looking for something to jerk off to. They find it and they split. They have no interest in speaking with others intelligently via the web, don’t want to meet in public, and they won’t even risk outing themselves to their significant other. In short, they are closeted even from their own community.
BDSM had people like Betty Page to bring the subculture into the public eye and let everyone know that it wasn’t just gross old guys in dungeons, and that it could be fun, sexy, and tasteful. If some sexy young model or pop star came out publicly as ABDL and did a shoot in playboy or Esquire with Little Girl themes that had even a single diapered picture, you can bet that diapers and ageplay would be the new bondage.
However, there is a major issue in the community which will have to be addressed before ABDL subculture will be ready to “go public” in the way that BDSM has. That issue is the almost inseparable notions of shame and humiliation associated with diapers. We have got to have people out there who are willing to do some careful thinking, to find ways of making the general public ABDL-aware so that people who discover that they are ABDL don’t feel like it’s a good idea to closet themselves so severely they won’t even fill out a profile on a website. That’s going to mean risking shame for a lot of us. The community can’t remain faceless forever.
One person criticized Adrian Surley for endorsing more openness on her blog without showing her own face. This kind of behavior is another sad pitfall of our community; the idea that real participation in the scene means either total privacy or none at all. Certainly, there are plenty of people who, if approached in the right way, would open up as much as they felt comfortable doing. Unfortunately, such approaches are usually not taken. (Again, due in a large part to the fact that being highly closeted has been established as a norm within the community.) Now, I don’t show my (entire) face on my blog, but I come damn close. Close enough to where people who know me would probably recognize me if they somehow found their way to my site. That person would have to be surfing a diaper site to find it though … and that’s not likely unless they are also ABDL. But as I said, this really isn’t about forgoing all privacy, or convincing everyone who wants to mean something to the community to show their face all over the internet. In all honesty, I’m not even sure how much that would help. What the community really needs is someone young, attractive, and loaded with crossmarket-appeal who will be willing to not only show their face to our community, but to the world at large.
Once there are a few brave souls putting themselves into the public eye while laying down the dogma for people who aren’t in the know, (we’re not pedophiles, we play at a range of ages including adult, avoid the binge and purge cycle, etc.) more people are going to start finding their way to the community with a greater willingness to participate constructively. Reaching out to the BDSM community would probably be a good first step, including making a bigger showing at BDSM events with higher ABDL turnout, ageplay/diaper scenes and seminars, things like that. BDSMers are generally more accepting of alternative lifestyle choices than anyone else.
Personally, I try to keep a blog that non-ABDL people won’t be scared off by if they were to come across it. Adrian does a great job of this too; iHeartDiapers.com is probably the first site I would show to someone who had no prior knowledge of the ABDL subculture.
I'm currently in the process of organizing an opportunity for some college-aged ABDLS in the New York City area to meet each other discreetly over coffee in real life. Any of you teens/twenty-somethings in the area who are interested in participating should shoot me an email at diapermail@yahoo.com.
In any case, there are a lot of ways to help the community become more public … people are just going to have to organize and make a business plan before that can happen.
Anyhow, someone pointed out that BDSMs comparative kinkiness should, in all logic, make it a harder sell to the general public than ABDL. This is what I had to add:
In the public consciousness, BDSM, which was considered totally unacceptable 60 years ago, has now become what we think of when we think of sex. However, the key difference that holds the ABDL world back from that kind of public recognition is that BDSMers have been building a very open, intelligent, and supportive community since the 1950s. And let’s face it … the majority of people searching the Internet for ABDL material are not interested in the community. They are (for lack of a nice way of putting this) looking for something to jerk off to. They find it and they split. They have no interest in speaking with others intelligently via the web, don’t want to meet in public, and they won’t even risk outing themselves to their significant other. In short, they are closeted even from their own community.
BDSM had people like Betty Page to bring the subculture into the public eye and let everyone know that it wasn’t just gross old guys in dungeons, and that it could be fun, sexy, and tasteful. If some sexy young model or pop star came out publicly as ABDL and did a shoot in playboy or Esquire with Little Girl themes that had even a single diapered picture, you can bet that diapers and ageplay would be the new bondage.
However, there is a major issue in the community which will have to be addressed before ABDL subculture will be ready to “go public” in the way that BDSM has. That issue is the almost inseparable notions of shame and humiliation associated with diapers. We have got to have people out there who are willing to do some careful thinking, to find ways of making the general public ABDL-aware so that people who discover that they are ABDL don’t feel like it’s a good idea to closet themselves so severely they won’t even fill out a profile on a website. That’s going to mean risking shame for a lot of us. The community can’t remain faceless forever.
One person criticized Adrian Surley for endorsing more openness on her blog without showing her own face. This kind of behavior is another sad pitfall of our community; the idea that real participation in the scene means either total privacy or none at all. Certainly, there are plenty of people who, if approached in the right way, would open up as much as they felt comfortable doing. Unfortunately, such approaches are usually not taken. (Again, due in a large part to the fact that being highly closeted has been established as a norm within the community.) Now, I don’t show my (entire) face on my blog, but I come damn close. Close enough to where people who know me would probably recognize me if they somehow found their way to my site. That person would have to be surfing a diaper site to find it though … and that’s not likely unless they are also ABDL. But as I said, this really isn’t about forgoing all privacy, or convincing everyone who wants to mean something to the community to show their face all over the internet. In all honesty, I’m not even sure how much that would help. What the community really needs is someone young, attractive, and loaded with crossmarket-appeal who will be willing to not only show their face to our community, but to the world at large.
Once there are a few brave souls putting themselves into the public eye while laying down the dogma for people who aren’t in the know, (we’re not pedophiles, we play at a range of ages including adult, avoid the binge and purge cycle, etc.) more people are going to start finding their way to the community with a greater willingness to participate constructively. Reaching out to the BDSM community would probably be a good first step, including making a bigger showing at BDSM events with higher ABDL turnout, ageplay/diaper scenes and seminars, things like that. BDSMers are generally more accepting of alternative lifestyle choices than anyone else.
Personally, I try to keep a blog that non-ABDL people won’t be scared off by if they were to come across it. Adrian does a great job of this too; iHeartDiapers.com is probably the first site I would show to someone who had no prior knowledge of the ABDL subculture.
I'm currently in the process of organizing an opportunity for some college-aged ABDLS in the New York City area to meet each other discreetly over coffee in real life. Any of you teens/twenty-somethings in the area who are interested in participating should shoot me an email at diapermail@yahoo.com.
In any case, there are a lot of ways to help the community become more public … people are just going to have to organize and make a business plan before that can happen.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Meeting other DLs
So for a while I have been considering that I live in one of the biggest cities in the world and I know I'm not the only one into diapers. Sometimes I'll sit on the train and wonder if any of the strangers around me might be headed home to visit the same diaper sites as me, or if maybe someone might even be wearing one only a few feet away, wondering the same thing about me. After all, no one really knows how many of us there are. There are about 23,000 registered users on Diaperspace, which is probably the highest count I've seen. That's world wide, but I think it's fair to say that about half of those are in the USA. So, let's suppose for a moment that there are 10,000 here in the United States, and that they are evenly distributed throughout the population. 2.5% of that population is here in New York City, so by this method of calculation there would be 250 diaper lovers here. Regardless of the exact numbers, NYC is the most densely populated city in the country, so the probability of running into another DL is definitely better here than anywhere else. In short, I got to thinking how weird it was that with all of these people with secret diapered desires running around, probably none of them had ever met or spoken. So, I decided to arrange it.
My initial worry about setting up a meet up like this was that there was a pretty good chance that a lot of those people are years apart in age, from vastly differing socioeconomic backgrounds, and would otherwise have nothing to talk about. They might not even speak the same language-- after all, it is New York City.
By the same token though, an equal number could be living, working, or going to school in the exact same place. So what I decided was to make a proposal via the DailyDiapers message boards for a meeting of of college-aged DLs. Whatever else, everyone would be close to the same age, just getting established, and have a lot more in common than a general, all inclusive meet up.
So my meet-up proposal has been up for a while and I've finally started to get some feedback: four people in the city and three people within commuting distance have spoken up about wanting to meet. I'm in the process of collecting everyone's emails and deciding on a place.
We'll see what happens ...
My initial worry about setting up a meet up like this was that there was a pretty good chance that a lot of those people are years apart in age, from vastly differing socioeconomic backgrounds, and would otherwise have nothing to talk about. They might not even speak the same language-- after all, it is New York City.
By the same token though, an equal number could be living, working, or going to school in the exact same place. So what I decided was to make a proposal via the DailyDiapers message boards for a meeting of of college-aged DLs. Whatever else, everyone would be close to the same age, just getting established, and have a lot more in common than a general, all inclusive meet up.
So my meet-up proposal has been up for a while and I've finally started to get some feedback: four people in the city and three people within commuting distance have spoken up about wanting to meet. I'm in the process of collecting everyone's emails and deciding on a place.
We'll see what happens ...
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