Let it snow.

Christmas time has kind of sneaked up on me this year, but it's definitely here. We pulled our plastic tree out of the closet this morning, and upon going outside we were greeted by the beginnings of a good, thick snowfall. The first snow of the season, and what a snow it was! It'll be horrendous black slush by tomorrow, but for now New York City is white and beautiful. My sister is visiting for the holiday break, so I've decided to use up the diapers we have on hand to avoid having to hide them from her.

So since the next day or two is going to be a diaper marathon, I wanted to catch up on my online diaper stuff. The person in our building with wi-fi moved out, so these days I have to go to the laundromat to get a signal. Consequently, I haven't been keeping up with the Internet fetish world.

Today though, I felt like celebrating the end of a pretty stressful semester, so I decided that I'd indulge a little. Checking that kind of stuff in public is always a little risky, but I figured it would be okay if I just sat with my back to the wall so no one coming up behind me would wonder what in the world I was doing. It wouldn't be the first time I did something along those lines. Anyway, it's not like it would even matter if some total stranger caught a glimpse of my profile pic on DiaperSpace and got weirded out, but discretion is always the most courteous choice when it comes to fetish stuff.

I have to say though, if I saw somebody checking diaper stuff in public, I would totally approach them and introduce myself as a fellow DL. How awesome would it be to randomly meet someone else from such a small scene at the laundromat?

In any case, my daring little adventure paid off, because there were new chapters on to two of the best ongoing diaper fics on DailyDiapers. Speaking of which, I was thinking that since I will have some time over the holiday break, I might do a series of literary reviews highlighting some of the better written pieces of fetish fiction out there in the diaper world. I mean, most of it is pure garbage, so this will save you guys some time which would otherwise be spent sifting though unreadable/boring/batshit-crazy writing. I might even write one myself; we'll see.

So basically, after copying the stories to word files, I decided to keep surfing. It was at this point that I got a real opportunity to take advantage of my diapers in a situation where having to get to a toilet would have been inconvenient. The restroom at our laundromat is permanently out of order, so if I ever really have to go (which always seems to happen when I'm there) I have to stop what I'm doing and go home relieve myself. Today was a no-toilet day though, so I just let go as soon as I felt the need and completely wet and messed my diaper. Walking home in the snow with a full diaper was awesomely warm.

Now that I'm back at the laundromat to post this, the snow has piled up into huge, knee-deep drifts and it's so thick in the air that you can barely see. It looks like this is going to be a very white Christmas.

Real wetting accidents

So my girlfriend's birthday was a few days ago. She got David Sedaris' When You Are Engulfed In Flames from her sister. We are both big fans of the author, and whenever his stuff is in the New Yorker we like to read it aloud. She and I decided that it would be fun to spend the day cuddling in bed and do the whole book that way.

It was around the story “In the Waiting Room” that my girlfriend had to stop and use the restroom. We were both laughing so had we were afraid we would wet our pants. She suggested that I should probably go as well, that or put on a diaper.

So ... have you ever noticed that if you laugh really hard you get an erection? Maybe it's just me. Anyway, I couldn't use the toilet pointed up like that, and even though that position generally makes a diaper less effective, we both figured it was better than risking our new sheets. Even though my control has been pretty good since my middle teenage years, it plateaued around that time just short of being complete. There is a certain point when I am laughing where I have always been unable to maintain control. I'm lucky that my girlfriend has come to recognize when I am getting to that point, because during “Town and Country” I completely wet myself. Luckily, I had taken the opportunity during one of the less sidesplitting stories to point myself down for maximum absorbency.

It was pretty embarrassing whenever I have genuine accident like that, because it reminds me that my control still isn't complete and probably won't ever be. Still, it is incredible to just be able to put a diaper on if I need one. When I was younger I used to love Jim Carry movies, but I knew that I would wet myself at least once every time I whenever I watched one. Though funny movies were the worst for it, the same went to a slightly lesser degree for a lot of things, even just visiting friend's houses. If I was going to be there all day, laughing and having a good time, I knew there was a good chance I was setting myself up for a wetting accident. If I had had Pull-Ups on hand for occasions like this, I could have been able to have fun without my enjoyment being compromised by bathroom worries. A friend's mother once remarked to mine that “That boy uses the bathroom more than any other kid I have ever met.” It didn't surprise me either. I was forever running to the toilet in hopes that it would keep me dry. It never really did. In fact, I probably wet my pants more often at that friend's house than anywhere else. My constant vigilance did make sure the inevitable wettings would be smaller though, and that helped to hide them.

Anyhow, my mother responded to this comment by telling her that I had been potty-trained at a very early age. Thinking back, it occurs to me that this answer may have been an even better explanation than my mother realized. The thought has crossed my mind that perhaps something about straining the muscles of my bladder before they were ready may have damaged them or caused a some loss of sensation. Stress incontinence (the kind where you wet when there is stress on the muscles like laughing or sneezing) is most common in children whose muscles are still weak down there. My mother's overeager attitude toward potty-training may have ironically been the reason why I was never totally able to master it.

It's funny, I actually had a pretty bad wetting accident this summer when I was at my mother's house. I was watching this video. Being around all my younger siblings in that old house, trying to hide the fact that I had wet my pants, I felt like I was in elementary school again. I had a tough time getting away to change my pants, but I managed it. I had to sit in wet jeans for over an hour before I got a chance to slip away for a moment. Luckily, we were sitting at the computer when it happened and there was enough going on in the house that no one was really paying attention. At the time, I actually thought for a moment that I might really get caught in front of everyone on this one. That would have been something: outed to my whole family as a pants wetter just a few weeks away from my twenty third birthday. I wonder if my mother would even have been surprised.

Oh, one last note ... that last diaper meet-up was another one where it was just me and one other person. His name was Kevin, and he had just come to the City for an internship at a publishing company. It was another nice, normal meeting-- further backing up the case that there are people out there interested in building a friendly, social, real-life fetish scene.

Further updates on meet-ups in NYC

Alright, so my internet has been out of commission for a month and I've been in and out of town with the new semester of school looming ever closer. In short, I have had no time for diapers even in my own apartment. I hadn't even checked my diaper specific email since like ... the end of July or something.

Anyhow, I just checked it. As it turns out, I missed a meet-up on August 15th. Three people made it out ... but not all at the same time. One got there earlier than the others and had to leave before they arrived. I really should have been there. This is mortifyingly lame.

Anyway, the third time is the charm, and the next meet is going to be the big one. Here is the email I sent out:

Jeez guys, bummer about the meet! Then again, it was still ever-so slightly better attended than last time when it was just me and Nicole. I really should have been there ... I started this group after all. What sucks is that my internet has been out of commission for a month and I've been in and out of town with the new semester of school looming ever closer. In short, I have had no time for diapers even in my own apartment. I hadn't even checked this email since like ... the end of July or something. Anyway, the third time is the charm, and the next meet is going to be the big one.

So I'm making an official announcement! Monday, September 28th at 5 PM, the group will be meeting at Penn Station! I am completely, totally 100% guaranteed to be there if you show up, even if no one else does. No one is going to get stood up because I'm clearing my schedule, which the ageplayers among you may be pleased to note is a very adult looking black moleskine with some very kindergarten looking dinosaur stickers on it.

The crisp autumn weather should be awesome if it doesn't rain, because late September is absolutely my favorite time of year to be in New York City. Even if it rains, we'll go somewhere and get warm drinks, the perfect activity for an autumn afternoon.

I urge anyone who doesn't have anything planned for that day to discreetly mark it as booked in whatever little appointment thing they have. It's like, a month away. We can't all be that busy. We've got enough people on the list now that it should be a pretty surefire bet that two or three people besides me have no plans yet.

Anyhow, I was kind of thinking as I was reading the discussion about identifying each other that there should be an official signifier. I know that this has been talked about before, and that the conclusion is that the whole diaper community isn't going to be able to agree on a universal symbol. So, as the person got this whole email group started, I was thinking that there should be one for our group. I'm going to get a bunch a round, white pins (like circular badges, you know?) made with a letter "D" on them. They will be totally unobtrusive because D is the first letter in a lot of words, and white is the color of a lot of things. We'll know it means diapers though, which means that our little meet up will be able to recognize each other. Anyway, anyone who shows up on September 28th will get one.

Incentive!

:D

I have a good feeling about this one. If you are a diapered, pantswetting, or all-around-kinky teen-through-twenty-something in the area: diapermail@yahoo.com is the place to get involved and help make this a success.

Sex life & stomach issues

So sometimes when my girlfriend is having stomach problems, she likes to wear a diaper for protection. She's had problems before with messing her panties when she is having digestive issues, particularly when she is asleep, so it's a reasonable precaution. Well, the other day she woke up feeling not very well and made a bee-line for the bathroom. She made it, but after a little while she called through the door asking if I could bring her a diaper just in case.

She started feeling much better very quickly, but she still wore diapers all day to be safe. She didn't end up using them, but it was an incredible turn on to watch her walking around in just a diaper and tank top. She caught on, of course, and started bending over and showing off her diapered bottom. At one point she got a phonecall from this guy in the porn industry she is editing a reel for. By then, she was completely naked except for her diaper, talking on the phone about the business end of the adult industry to a guy who would never have suspected what she was doing. It was pretty funny to watch, not to mention totally hot.

We had some incredible sex, and she ended up wearing a diaper to bed, just in case she had an accident in the night.

The next morning, I woke up to a very snuggley diapered girl. We made out for a while and talked a little about ways we might incorporate diapers into our sex life together in the future. She suggested that she might wear a little short skirt that she could flip up every now and then to give me a peek of what she was wearing underneath.

We'll see what happens.

Meeting up in real life

So I mentioned way back in February that I was in the process of organizing an opportunity for some college-aged ABDLS in the New York City area to meet each other discreetly over coffee in real life. Well, it finally happened.

It took some doing. I put some notices out on the New York section of the "Meeting Place" board on Daily Diapers and in the AB/DL's in New York/New Jersey group on DiaperSpace. Slowly, the responses came in. Once I had six volunteers, we started discussing dates. It took a while to reach a consensus, but it seemed like the first Sunday in June would be good for everyone. It took until two days before that date to decide this though, and last minute conflicts were basically guaranteed to crop up. We had enough people though that even if half of them didn't show up it would still be enough for a reasonably-sized meet-up. Anyway, my girlfriend was out of town and I was bored. I emailed everyone my cell phone number and told them to call me when they got to Penn Station. That was our meeting spot, since we had people on the list who were commuting all the way from Connecticut and Jersey.

Well, Sunday, June 7th arrived and I rode the train up to Penn Station. When 3 PM (our scheduled meeting time) arrived, I got a call.

"Hey, this is Nicole, from ... the group."

Awesome. Someone had shown up.

"Hey," I replied, "great, you made it. I'm at 34th street. Where are you?"

"I'm by the K-Mart," she replied.

"Great. I'll meet you there."

I walked down 34th street until I saw the K-Mart sign and called Nicole back.

"Hey," I said. "I'm at the K-Mart. I'm waving."

Coming through the crowd, I spotted a redhead waving back. This was it! My first meeting with another diaper lover. We shook hands and introduced ourselves properly.

"So," she asked, "how long have you been into ... diapers?"

"Um," I said. "Basically since I was little. Since I can remember."

It was such an unusual sensation to just be having a discussion like this in the middle of a crowded street. It's like F. Scott Fitzgerald says though; large parties are the most private, and New York is the biggest party of all.

As it turned out, this wasn't Nicole's first meeting. She had met five or six other people in the area who were into diapers. She explained that she had grown tired of reading the same kinds of posts over and over again on internet message boards and that she hardly even visited them any more except to get in contact with people in the New York area. She had had one bad experience meeting with a guy who turned out to be a total creep who enjoyed sending weird text-messages, but she had had her share of good encounters too.

After about half an hour of standing around in front of K-Mart, we realized that we were probably the only ones coming. We started walking and ended up on the Lower East Side, where we decided to grab a bite to eat.

Over lunchtime conversation, I found out that she had known two other DLs at the small college she attended upstate. One of them she met through a message board and had some play with. He told her there was at least one other DL at their school that he knew of, but he wouldn't divulage the name. Later she found out that the mystery DL was someone she had spent an entire summer working side by side with. Coincidence? I guess so, but my guess is that there are more of us out there than anybody realizes. I told her about DLightning's blog and how he had this symbol that looked like an inconspicuous designer logo that he was making plans to promote. She agreed that it was a good plan. If she or her co-worker had had something like that to identify themselves as a diaper lover, it certainly would have made lunch hour conversation more interesting.

In addition to diaper stuff, we talked about movies, literature, living situations in New York, and all kinds of other things. It was a good experience to be able to just talk about being into diapers as a normal, everyday issue ... because for a lot of people it totally is. We just have to create opportunities like this where we can meet and find out just how normal it is.

In any case, we both agreed that we'd like to do this again to give everyone who didn't make it this time around an opportunity to attend a real life gather of diaper lovers. She suggested it might be fun to do a picnic in central park next time.

As I've said before, any of you teens/twenty-somethings in the area who are interested in participating should shoot me an email at diapermail@yahoo.com ... and if our group isn't near you in NYC, don't be afraid to put yourself out there and start getting together a meet-up in your own town. Remember: use common sense. One on one meetings with internet-strangers in private places are a bad plan, kids. A good meet-up should be held in a public place where everyone is going to be comfortable. Don't get discouraged if responses are slow, and keep gathering those emails until you have a good sized group that is close in age. And remember ... if you do hold a meet-up in your area, we want to hear how it went! Write a blog about it, or at least comment here so everyone in our group can hear about how other people are organizing. Who knows ... if we get enough groups together and keep in touch, DLs sometime down the line might be able to visit each other's groups if they find themselves traveling with some time to kill.

Anything's possible ...

The sad demise of DLTown

So DLTown shut down. It's pretty sad; their vision for the site was a good one. They didn't have giant phonesex ads about poopy diapers, their site was faster than Diaperspace and they didn't have any glaring bugs or a colorscheme that made the board difficult to see. More importantly, their header proclaimed that on this site there would be no "BS nonsense." A diaper site without empty profiles, compulsive liars, and trolls would be nice ... but until DLLightning gets his site up and running, this is still in the realm of fantasy. There are definately some lessons to be learned from DLTown's fate that should be heeded by anyone with a similar vision for a site without BS nonsense. Anyway, here is the letter that was up for a few days after they closed the site down:

Dear friends,

We have decided to close DLTown indefinitely. There are many factors which lead up to this decision. First and foremost, we are going to be expecting a new addition to our family very soon which is going to consume most of our time and we are no longer going to be able to dedicate the effort that is required to run this site. In addition, this site consumes WAY too much money for us to afford financially. With a new house (and a baby on the way) the money we spend on this site each month could be better spent elsewhere. Of course, we GREATLY appreciate all of the help and support that we've received. We've met some really awesome people over the past few months, but at the same time, we've met a lot of negative people as well. As sad as it seems, about ninety five percent of the people in this community are: slime balls, fakes, creeps, stalkers, and quite frankly, we're tired of dealing with them. The added stress is not needed, especially now. These douche bags, destroy the implied trust that a close knit community SHOULD have and we're tired of it. Too many people are backstabbing and judgmental. In the past week, we've already saw negative threads on other forums and communities criticizing and speculating. This venture was never meant to be a source of income. The majority of these individuals are underage, still live at home, and have no financial responsibility. They have no clue what it.s like to maintain a mortgage, make the car payment, pay the insurance, keep up on utilities, put food on the table, and everything else. Get out of your parent.s house, go get a life outside of the internet, work a job, pay all your bills on time, and THEN feel free to judge. Too many self centered individuals exist in this community who take a lot, but give nothing. We owe absolutely nothing to anyone and yet everybody acted like we did. Very few people were ever satisfied. People fought, bickered, and argued about every little thing. Our vision for this site has pretty much been destroyed. After a lot of thought, we have decided that the best option for us is to refrain from the online DL community completely and keep our fetish private and offline. We wish the best of luck to everybody on wherever life takes you. And to our true loyal friends, we.re glad to have been given the chance to meet all of you. We're glad there are some individuals, who truly rise above all the deception and sleaziness that is present in this community. People like you give a glimmer of hope that above all the negativity, there really are good people in this world.

Best regards,
Shannon :(
admin@dltown.com


PS: If anybody wants the dltown.com domain, I'll transfer it to the registrar of your choice for a little bit of nothing.

It's a dirty shame that this community seems to be working to systematically drive out the people who do the most for it. Let's all raise a glass to DLTown's memory and meditate a little on what the constructive members of the community can do in the future to build stronger connections while fighting off the slime balls, fakes, creeps, and stalkers.

Oops ...

So the other day I was wearing girl underwear. I can pass pretty easily; I get mistaken for a girl all the time, even when I'm not consciously in girl mode. I rarely dress in full-on drag, but if I'm wearing underwear it is usually panties. My wardrobe consists mostly of jeans and T-shirts anyway, so it's pretty unisex. If the gender question on my tax forms was a write-in instead of a check box, I'd put "David Bowie."

Most of my panties are pretty demure ... I'm not really into the over-the top sexy ones or anything with tons of frills. Generally, those make me feel a lot more silly than sexy. I'd rather just have something innocent and cute that actually makes me feel like a girl than a tiny piece of lace that does little to contain a rather obvious part of my anatomy.

Anyway, I woke up in girl mode the other day and decided on green and yellow stripes. They're pretty fucking cute. It was a busy day and I sort of forgot I was even wearing them. After the day's classes were done, I went up to one of the studios in the main building to help a classmate with a shoot he was doing. I was the assistant director, which basically meant I was running the show except with regards to telling the actors what kind of performance to give.

The scene we were doing was in a bar set the school has. I was climbing over the counter to get a wire out of the shot when a girl behind me giggled.

"Hey, cute underwear."

I turned around to see the whole crew looking in my direction. I blushed hard. My girlfriend, who is also in the film department, was on set at the time as well, giving me a look of sympathy.

"Are they boxers or briefs or ... do I see a flower?"

I didn't think I was wearing the flower ones today ... the tag must be sticking out.

"Um, well," I replied. "They're girl's underwear actually."

She just shook her head and laughed.

"Wow," she said laughing and shaking her head. "You're awesome. So you and your girlfiend ... do you match?"

"Um," I said. "Not today."

"Are they ... comfortable?"

"Yeah," I said, blushing harder. "They're pretty snug."

A couple of the guys on set looked interested.

"Really?" one said. "I had always kind of wondered."

Essentially it was one of the most embarrassing things that has ever happened to me, especially because I was trying to project an air of authority. I managed to play it pretty well, and keep a reasonable amount of dignity, despite the fact that my whole production class now knows that I wear panties.

Oh well. It totally could have been worse-- I could have been wearing a diaper.

Finally, a day off.

Man ... the whole world is frozen out there. Winter really puts things on hold. I've been away from my usual internet haunts for a couple of weeks now, and apparently so has everyone else. Frigid weather, flu season, and a flatlining economy seem to have draped the whole world in a flat gray blanket of seasonal depression. I've been swamped with writing assignments, movie shoots, and the threat that "spring break" (which in NYC is going to be freezing, snowy, and generally not at all like spring) will interrupt all the work I am doing at school. Since today is my first day off in a while, I decided that it should be a diapered one. No ice-cold toilet seat today, thank you.

I've got a some chocolate chip cookies and an awesome comic book to read too: a thick hardcover collection of "Herbie," which is basically like if Daniel Pinkwater was writing comic books in the 1960s. Today is a day for maximum cuddling and contentment.

No news to report yet about that diapered college kids meet-up. I have a bunch of email addresses and basically just have everyone standing by for a date. We may just have to call it and decided that anyone who hasn't gotten in touch yet isn't interested. I'll probably contact people about a time and place this afternoon.

However! Despite a the recent lull in diaper activity (In my life anyway. Maybe you people have exiting diapered adventures every day.) there is one awesome development I have to announce to anyone who hasn't already heard: Monday morning, Bambino lowered their prices considerably, which is even better when you consider that they just made their diapers twice as absorbent in February. This cinches it ... I am totally springing for a case of Biancos.

BDSM & ABDL

I recently made a long winded comment at iHeartDiapers.com dealing with the subject of seeking a more general kind of acceptance for ABDLs, of the sort that BDSM enjoys. It really was so long as to qualify as a blog post all by itself, so I polished it up at little to stand better on its own and posted it here. Maddie here on blogspot has been talking about a lot of these things for a while, so be sure to visit her blog for more thoughts along these lines. I've hit on a few of these things before too, so if you've heard some this before, just bear with me. There's some good thoughts in here.

Anyhow, someone pointed out that BDSMs comparative kinkiness should, in all logic, make it a harder sell to the general public than ABDL. This is what I had to add:

In the public consciousness, BDSM, which was considered totally unacceptable 60 years ago, has now become what we think of when we think of sex. However, the key difference that holds the ABDL world back from that kind of public recognition is that BDSMers have been building a very open, intelligent, and supportive community since the 1950s. And let’s face it … the majority of people searching the Internet for ABDL material are not interested in the community. They are (for lack of a nice way of putting this) looking for something to jerk off to. They find it and they split. They have no interest in speaking with others intelligently via the web, don’t want to meet in public, and they won’t even risk outing themselves to their significant other. In short, they are closeted even from their own community.

BDSM had people like Betty Page to bring the subculture into the public eye and let everyone know that it wasn’t just gross old guys in dungeons, and that it could be fun, sexy, and tasteful. If some sexy young model or pop star came out publicly as ABDL and did a shoot in playboy or Esquire with Little Girl themes that had even a single diapered picture, you can bet that diapers and ageplay would be the new bondage.

However, there is a major issue in the community which will have to be addressed before ABDL subculture will be ready to “go public” in the way that BDSM has. That issue is the almost inseparable notions of shame and humiliation associated with diapers. We have got to have people out there who are willing to do some careful thinking, to find ways of making the general public ABDL-aware so that people who discover that they are ABDL don’t feel like it’s a good idea to closet themselves so severely they won’t even fill out a profile on a website. That’s going to mean risking shame for a lot of us. The community can’t remain faceless forever.

One person criticized Adrian Surley for endorsing more openness on her blog without showing her own face. This kind of behavior is another sad pitfall of our community; the idea that real participation in the scene means either total privacy or none at all. Certainly, there are plenty of people who, if approached in the right way, would open up as much as they felt comfortable doing. Unfortunately, such approaches are usually not taken. (Again, due in a large part to the fact that being highly closeted has been established as a norm within the community.) Now, I don’t show my (entire) face on my blog, but I come damn close. Close enough to where people who know me would probably recognize me if they somehow found their way to my site. That person would have to be surfing a diaper site to find it though … and that’s not likely unless they are also ABDL. But as I said, this really isn’t about forgoing all privacy, or convincing everyone who wants to mean something to the community to show their face all over the internet. In all honesty, I’m not even sure how much that would help. What the community really needs is someone young, attractive, and loaded with crossmarket-appeal who will be willing to not only show their face to our community, but to the world at large.

Once there are a few brave souls putting themselves into the public eye while laying down the dogma for people who aren’t in the know, (we’re not pedophiles, we play at a range of ages including adult, avoid the binge and purge cycle, etc.) more people are going to start finding their way to the community with a greater willingness to participate constructively. Reaching out to the BDSM community would probably be a good first step, including making a bigger showing at BDSM events with higher ABDL turnout, ageplay/diaper scenes and seminars, things like that. BDSMers are generally more accepting of alternative lifestyle choices than anyone else.

Personally, I try to keep a blog that non-ABDL people won’t be scared off by if they were to come across it. Adrian does a great job of this too; iHeartDiapers.com is probably the first site I would show to someone who had no prior knowledge of the ABDL subculture.

I'm currently in the process of organizing an opportunity for some college-aged ABDLS in the New York City area to meet each other discreetly over coffee in real life. Any of you teens/twenty-somethings in the area who are interested in participating should shoot me an email at diapermail@yahoo.com.

In any case, there are a lot of ways to help the community become more public … people are just going to have to organize and make a business plan before that can happen.

Meeting other DLs

So for a while I have been considering that I live in one of the biggest cities in the world and I know I'm not the only one into diapers. Sometimes I'll sit on the train and wonder if any of the strangers around me might be headed home to visit the same diaper sites as me, or if maybe someone might even be wearing one only a few feet away, wondering the same thing about me. After all, no one really knows how many of us there are. There are about 23,000 registered users on Diaperspace, which is probably the highest count I've seen. That's world wide, but I think it's fair to say that about half of those are in the USA. So, let's suppose for a moment that there are 10,000 here in the United States, and that they are evenly distributed throughout the population. 2.5% of that population is here in New York City, so by this method of calculation there would be 250 diaper lovers here. Regardless of the exact numbers, NYC is the most densely populated city in the country, so the probability of running into another DL is definitely better here than anywhere else. In short, I got to thinking how weird it was that with all of these people with secret diapered desires running around, probably none of them had ever met or spoken. So, I decided to arrange it.

My initial worry about setting up a meet up like this was that there was a pretty good chance that a lot of those people are years apart in age, from vastly differing socioeconomic backgrounds, and would otherwise have nothing to talk about. They might not even speak the same language-- after all, it is New York City.

By the same token though, an equal number could be living, working, or going to school in the exact same place. So what I decided was to make a proposal via the DailyDiapers message boards for a meeting of of college-aged DLs. Whatever else, everyone would be close to the same age, just getting established, and have a lot more in common than a general, all inclusive meet up.

So my meet-up proposal has been up for a while and I've finally started to get some feedback: four people in the city and three people within commuting distance have spoken up about wanting to meet. I'm in the process of collecting everyone's emails and deciding on a place.

We'll see what happens ...

End of winter break

So it's the last day of break. I have no idea what my school schedule is going to look like this semester, so I'm going to to have to head down to the councilor's office first thing tomorrow morning. I don't have any Monday classes continuing from last semester, so chances are I'll just spend tomorrow waiting in various offices and sitting on the train, which, for those of you who have never been New Yorkers or college students, amounts to a day split between stress and boredom. That's why I wanted to make sure that today was both fun and stress free: after breakfast I got myself a pack of diapers and returned home to spend the rest of the day curled up in bed with my laptop and a stack comic books.

It's freezing outside and we haven't got heat in our little basement studio, so we've been keeping the oven on. The apartment is tiny, so it works remarkably well. The floor is absolutely freezing though.

It's so good to have diapers again. As soon as I put one on my bladder totally went into relax mode. It used to be that I couldn't let go in a diaper until I got to the point where it was kind of an emergency and it was either use the toilet now or wet myself. It started to get easier as soon as I got used to the feeling of using a diaper, but my bladder still had to be pretty full. Today though, I've been just leaking all day whenever there is even a little bit in my bladder, and so often that there have been times I hardly realize I'm doing it. It made me a little nervous at first, because it really felt like one of those occasional days I used to have when I barely had any control at all. As much as I'd like to be able to wear diapers all the time, it would be pretty disarming to suddenly go back to needing them again. Not to mention expensive. Speaking of which, I've decided to wait on the Bambinos until I can get a case. It'll be something to look forward to.

Although I was a little apprehensive when I realized how easily I was wetting today, it's been kind of therapeutic. As I've said before, those were the days when I wished for diapers the most, and today I have enough diapers to just go in them all day and not use the toilet for anything. That's what I've been doing, too; just getting really comfortable and doing it all in my diaper. Sometimes a messy change or two is totally worth it.

Another bonus about just gradually wetting them instead of waiting until the urge is getting strong is that when I leak, the diaper doesn't. I suppose that as a bedwetting pull-up, this is the way they were meant to be used, absorbing a little at a time instead of in one big accident all at once.

Just for fun, I took a few pictures of myself, underwear model style. It's kind of annoying. I would really like to be able to just show my face if I wasn't going to have to depend on what producers thought of me as a person to make my living. I can just see pictures of me in diapers being discovered and spread around with my full name attached to them as soon I am beginning to gain a little notoriety and some film buff DL recognizes me.

As anyone who has been reading my posts will know, I am pretty fed up with all the impersonal anonymity there is in the diaper community. So, basically I compromised a little and took pictures which people who know me would probably recognize but are ambiguous enough to retain a little mystery. People get pretty uptight about being found out by someone they know through a carelessly posted picture floating around on the Internet, but honestly, that person would have to be surfing a diaper site to find it. Seriously, there is enough about me on here already that it would be a dead giveaway in the unlikely event that any of my family or friends that somehow found their way to this blog.

Anyhow, if you are really curious you can just email me. I'll let you know where to find me on Facebook. In any case, here are my unFacebookable pics.







If Calvin Klein decides to do a line of pull-ups, I think I might have a job.

New Years

Well, Christmas is over. As usual, I spent way too much money. I had been wanting to get myself a case of Bambino Biancos in the New Year once the dust had settled from the holidays, but now I doubt that I can afford it. I'll probably just get a pack of eight.

It would be nice to have a supply on hand so I could wear diapers whenever I felt like it, though. Having them around would be such an incredible stress reliever now that school is about to start again. Perhaps one of my New Year's resolutions can be to save on frivolous expenses so I can make that a reality.

Anyhow, break has a little over a week left and I'd like to have a day in diapers before I go back to school. If I can't get the Bambinos by then, I think I may just go to the Walgreens down the street and get some GoodNites. We shall see ...