Sunday, January 11, 2009

End of winter break

So it's the last day of break. I have no idea what my school schedule is going to look like this semester, so I'm going to to have to head down to the councilor's office first thing tomorrow morning. I don't have any Monday classes continuing from last semester, so chances are I'll just spend tomorrow waiting in various offices and sitting on the train, which, for those of you who have never been New Yorkers or college students, amounts to a day split between stress and boredom. That's why I wanted to make sure that today was both fun and stress free: after breakfast I got myself a pack of diapers and returned home to spend the rest of the day curled up in bed with my laptop and a stack comic books.

It's freezing outside and we haven't got heat in our little basement studio, so we've been keeping the oven on. The apartment is tiny, so it works remarkably well. The floor is absolutely freezing though.

It's so good to have diapers again. As soon as I put one on my bladder totally went into relax mode. It used to be that I couldn't let go in a diaper until I got to the point where it was kind of an emergency and it was either use the toilet now or wet myself. It started to get easier as soon as I got used to the feeling of using a diaper, but my bladder still had to be pretty full. Today though, I've been just leaking all day whenever there is even a little bit in my bladder, and so often that there have been times I hardly realize I'm doing it. It made me a little nervous at first, because it really felt like one of those occasional days I used to have when I barely had any control at all. As much as I'd like to be able to wear diapers all the time, it would be pretty disarming to suddenly go back to needing them again. Not to mention expensive. Speaking of which, I've decided to wait on the Bambinos until I can get a case. It'll be something to look forward to.

Although I was a little apprehensive when I realized how easily I was wetting today, it's been kind of therapeutic. As I've said before, those were the days when I wished for diapers the most, and today I have enough diapers to just go in them all day and not use the toilet for anything. That's what I've been doing, too; just getting really comfortable and doing it all in my diaper. Sometimes a messy change or two is totally worth it.

Another bonus about just gradually wetting them instead of waiting until the urge is getting strong is that when I leak, the diaper doesn't. I suppose that as a bedwetting pull-up, this is the way they were meant to be used, absorbing a little at a time instead of in one big accident all at once.

Just for fun, I took a few pictures of myself, underwear model style. It's kind of annoying. I would really like to be able to just show my face if I wasn't going to have to depend on what producers thought of me as a person to make my living. I can just see pictures of me in diapers being discovered and spread around with my full name attached to them as soon I am beginning to gain a little notoriety and some film buff DL recognizes me.

As anyone who has been reading my posts will know, I am pretty fed up with all the impersonal anonymity there is in the diaper community. So, basically I compromised a little and took pictures which people who know me would probably recognize but are ambiguous enough to retain a little mystery. People get pretty uptight about being found out by someone they know through a carelessly posted picture floating around on the Internet, but honestly, that person would have to be surfing a diaper site to find it. Seriously, there is enough about me on here already that it would be a dead giveaway in the unlikely event that any of my family or friends that somehow found their way to this blog.

Anyhow, if you are really curious you can just email me. I'll let you know where to find me on Facebook. In any case, here are my unFacebookable pics.

If you could see my eyes, you'd know I was smiling.

Our bathroom is small and white, so the light is much better for digital photos in there.

Rule of thirds time.

If Calvin Klein decides to do a line of pull-ups, I think I might have a job.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

New Years

Well, Christmas is over. As usual, I spent way too much money. I had been wanting to get myself a case of Bambino Biancos in the New Year once the dust had settled from the holidays, but now I doubt that I can afford it. I'll probably just get a pack of eight.

It would be nice to have a supply on hand so I could wear diapers whenever I felt like it, though. Having them around would be such an incredible stress reliever now that school is about to start again. Perhaps one of my New Year's resolutions can be to save on frivolous expenses so I can make that a reality.

Anyhow, break has a little over a week left and I'd like to have a day in diapers before I go back to school. If I can't get the Bambinos by then, I think I may just go to the Walgreens down the street and get some GoodNites. We shall see ...