Out and About

So much has happened since I last wrote! First of all, I finished my short film for the semester. Absolutely everything that could have gone wrong did, but it got finished. In other school news: I wet my pants in class.

It was in my finance and distribution class. A guy from Severn video had come in to talk about how he discovered this movie called Birdemic: Shock and Terror. It was made by a nutty Korean computer programmer who had trademarked the phrase “Master of the Romantic Thriller” for himself. After becoming obsessed with Alfred Hitchcock, he decided that he wanted to do an environmentally conscious update of The Birds. The birds in the movie were designed by a college student who flaked out at the last minute and didn't finish animating the models. The result is that the avian aggressors just kind of hang in the air and flap their wings mechanically. It is a bizarre thing to see.

After failing to get accepted to Sundance, the director decided to drive to the festival anyway and parade up and down the street in a van covered with fake birds and a loudspeaker rigged to emit eagle screeches. The guy from Severn video investigated, and to his great surprise he found what he described to us as the funniest movie he had ever seen.

He showed us a series of clips. I'm not sure what the funniest movie I've seen is, but Birdemic was enough that maintaining bladder control proved impossible. I held on as much as I could, but I couldn't stop laughing and the clips just kept coming. With each one, I wet myself a little more. Despite my best efforts, my bladder was completely empty in minutes.

Nobody noticed of course. I've had way too much experience hiding this kind of accident, especially at school. I kept seated until we were dismissed, and rushed out of class while everyone else was distracted with packing up their things. Before I left though, the guest speaker announce that Birdemic would be making its New York Premier in a couple of weeks at the IFC Center. As much as I wanted to see it, I knew that I would probably run into my teacher and classmates there. If I had wet this badly just watching a few clips, there was no way I was going to be able to stay dry though the whole movie. If I was going to go, I was going to have to wear a diaper.

It's still a little humiliating every time I realize that there are still times when I do actually need diapers. The embarrassment and lack of control associated with them is definitely one of the things that turns me on, but sometimes I wish my episodes of incontinence had an on/off switch that I could leave off unless I was safely at home and wearing adequate protection.

The freedom of knowing I could go to the movie and laugh as hard as I wanted without having to worry about maintaining control was awesome though. There were so many times when I was younger when I knew for sure that I was going into a situation where I was going to need a diaper and couldn't wear one. I always kind of dreaded watching any comedy with my friends, because I knew that the more I was enjoying the movie, the less chance I was going to have of escaping without an accident. Whenever I was having the best time, that's when I had to worry most about humiliating myself in front of my friends.

This time though, I was going with my girlfriend who understood about my wetting issues and knew that I would need to be diapered. It was so liberating to just accept that I needed protection and to know that I was with someone who wasn't going to make fun of me for it.

It was certainly a good thing that I wore protection. I haven't wet myself so much in a movie since I saw Jim Carrey in The Mask at the age of eight. That's saying something, too; my uncle who took me to that one still tells stories about how I was upside down in my seat with change falling out of my pockets.

I actually wet so much during Birdemic that I leaked. When I stood up, there were two little crescent shaped wet spots under my bottom. I was only wearing a GoodNites Pull-Up though. Next time I'm in a situation like this I'll know to wear something more heavy-duty.

As we were waiting in the subway for the train home, my girlfriend turned to me and asked “Did you use it?”

We had been taking about the movie until then, so I wasn't exactly sure what she meant. “Use what?” I asked.

She replied by reaching around and giving my diapered bottom a squeeze, right where I knew I had leaked. I gave a little “meep” of surprise and blushed.

“Um ... yeah ... I'm totally soaked. I think I leaked a little.”

She hugged me gave a sympathetic little “aww.”

“It's okay,” she whispered into my ear.

“You realize though,” I whispered back, “that you just gave me a diaper check in public?”

Both of us kind of broke down into embarrassed giggles at that point. It was good to know that I was going to get hugged and and laugh with her about it together with her rather than get laughed at or scolded.

That would be the end of the story, but last night I was out eating Japanese food with a friend who used to be a professional dom and phone sex operator. It kind of goes without saying that she is a person who is very understanding about fetish stuff.

She just got out of a bad relationship, so we were talking about relationship stuff. It came up how important mutual respect and open-mindedness are in sex. I had thought about opening up to her about my diaper fetish before, but the subject had always changed or we got interrupted. This time it didn't, and before I knew it, I was telling her all about my history of wetting myself and wanting to wear diapers.

She didn't even bat an eye, and was even interested to know more. She had dealt with some adult baby clients in her phone sex days, but never someone who just liked diapers. Afterward, we met up with my girlfriend and went bowling at 1:30 AM. I won, which never happens, and then we went out for a chocolate malt. It was a good night, and it occurs to me now how really excellent it was when I consider the fact that I was in the company of two friends who both knew all about my most embarrassing secret and still wanted to hang out with me.